When Cardio Isn’t

There was a commercial for a piece of cardio equipment that ran a couple years ago (I forgot the name of the machine). The ad shows people engaging in a variety of outdoor activities and then suggests that instead of having to do all those things, you can just use this revolutionary piece of cardio equipment for the same workout. It is a sad indication of our sterilized, antiseptic society that doing anything for pure enjoyment is a waste of time. The worst part is that you can have fun while also getting the benefits of a dedicated cardio workout. All you have to do is you think for yourself and abolish any fears of enjoying yourself.

    To be perfectly clear, “cardio” does not entail using a two-toned grey machine to burn calories. Cardio n the broadest sense of the modern vernacular is any activity that elevates your heartrate and keeps it there for an extended period. This is apparently critically misunderstood information. It boggles my mind when I walk into the gym on a gorgeous Saturday morning and see every piece of cardio equipment occupied. I want to grab a megaphone and ask “Don’t you people have anything more enjoyable to do?”

    Yes, I do consider the reasons some people may prefer riding a machine for an hour. Some like to be told what to do, especially when it comes to working out because of fear of injury, not knowing what to do, or simply enjoying a preset program,. Others think they’re getting the fastest and bestest workout because the machine said they’re burning 900 calories per hour, which will negate any bad eating done over the rest of the weekend (cardio machines are not time machines and cannot burn future calories that have not been consumed yet). Others hate the idea of being remotely athletic abhor sweat and want to be done as quickly as possible.

    However, I can also guarantee that every single one of those people has at least one activity that they like which counts as cardio. And I can further guarantee that they would enjoy doing that activity more than sitting on a stationary bike or riding an elliptical. In fact, the simple joy of doing something unstructured and free is probably the best solution for those who detest the very idea of exercise.

    For example, take the mythical “Roy”. Roy is 6’1, 320lbs and 32% body fat. Roy hates dancing, those girlyman workout machines and anything that involves running. From these desires, its clear that suggesting that Roy take a cardio dance class or do a half marathon is going to be met with an icy stare and possibly an incapacitating right hook. So we ask Roy what he likes in order to see if that sheds any light on the situation. Lo and behold, Roy loves sports, particularly football and baseball. Roy also likes the outdoors, such as when he goes bass fishing. Now its easy to come up with things that Roy can do that count as cardio but don’t look or feel like cardio to him.

    Let’s tell Roy its okay to go outside and play football with his friends for 30 minutes. It doesn’t have to be intense, just constant movement. Rules can be modified to allow for shorter intervals between plays. Alternatively, Roy can go to a batting cage after work to get a few dozen swings in. And since he likes fishing, perhaps he can paddle a canoe out to his favorite fishing spot next time rather than relying on an Evinrude outboard motor. By the way, all of those listed activities burn at least 500 calories per hour for a person of Roy’s mass.

    Roy is obviously a painfully stereotypical male pulled from the annals of sitcom character development. But he does illustrate that there are options for people who do not fit into the pre-cut molds that the fitness industry has selected for us. There are women who don’t like to dance and men who do. There are guys who don’t like basketball and girls who do. The takeaway message is that if you think outside the cube and allow yourself to be happy, there are literally hundreds of things that you can do that count as cardio but are infinitely more fun than standing on a machine for an hour.

 
 
The link below is a list compiled by Harvard University denoting the number of calories burned after 30 minutes of a given activity. Notice that even everyday actions such as mowing the lawn, cleaning, pushing a shopping cart and playing with kids burns a significant number of calories. This lends credence to the idea that the more automated a society, the easier it becomes for them to become obese. In any case, peruse the list and take note of activities that you enjoy (or may enjoy…try something new) and incorporate them into your life. Notice I didn’t say workout routine. This should be fun, not something you feel forced to do. The end result is the same with the added benefit of not having to dread the experience.
 

Calories Burned In 30 Minutes of Leisure and Routine Activities: Harvard Health Publications

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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